Email from the W’s.

December 5, 2009

I hadn’t heard from the W’s in a few weeks. I had so many things running through my head that I finally emailed them to see what was going on.
IF emailed me back and said that they were still talking about my compensasion. They knew what they could afford but didn’t feel it was enough. They need to set back money to pay for everything since they can’t seem to find an insurence that will cover the surrogacy.
I emailed them back and told them that I didn’t care about the money. Whatever they were able to give was enough, my insurence will cover the pregnancy part so they would just have to cover things like the transfers and meds.
We may have to push things back until the middle of the year and that’s fine. I’m okay with it.
I don’t know how I got blessed with such amazing IPs but they really are wonderful people. 🙂


30 days!

December 1, 2009

Only 30 days left until, God willing, we start the process to make the W’s a baby.

I don’t even know what to with myself! 😀

Driving myself crazy!

December 1, 2009

IM ignored my request on FB. I know it shouldn’t make me feel bad but, it does. 😦
I still haven’t heard from them. I think I’ll give them another couple of weeks and then I’ll move on. I did reply to a few ads and put a new one myself. We’ll see how things go.
All I can do is keep praying! 🙂


December 1, 2009

I wanna get some of you lurkers out in the open. 😉

I’ll be doing a contest the second week of December. Be on the look out. 😀

So excited!

November 28, 2009

My step-dad was always my daddy growing up. He was the man who raised me, the man I knew as “daddy”. When I was about 13 y/o I found a picture of myself, my brother, G, some man, and a guy I always thought was my cousin, K. I asked my mom about it and she told me that the man in the picture was really my dad. Mom told G and I all kinds of stories about Dad beating her, G and me. We hated him!
In 2002 G went into the USMC. He came home from boot camp with a list of names in the area we grew up in that matched our dad. We wanted to find him but, didn’t want to call all these men and say, “Hey! Are you my dad?”. So we never did.
In 2005 my pawpaw passed away. He is my mom’s dad. At his funeral my mom introduced me to a woman, S, and told me that she was my brother’s aunt. That didn’t make any sense to me because I thought that if she was my brother’s aunt she was mine too. Mom went on to tell me that the guy I thought was my cousin in all those pictures was actully my brother, 13 years my senior, and he wanted to get in contact with me. I was shocked, nervous, and really upset with my mother. She had lied to me and G for years! I gave S my number and finished my stay with family in W. Va for pawpaw’s funeral. As soon as I got back to work the following week, R and my SIL came to see me. I remember being in the office and seeing them walk in the door of the store. My heart started racing and I ran out to hug the man who, as a teenager chose to babysit my sister and I so that Mom and Dad could work. I cried. Brother cried. SIL cried. It was a very emotional first meeting.
We had dinner together that night and I asked brother everything I could about Dad and the things Mom had told me all my life. Brother told me that they were all lies. Brother loved my mom but didn’t understand why she would tell G and I these things.
After Brother and SIL left, I wrote Dad a letter and asked about all the things Brother and I had talked about. Dad also said that they were lies, he loved G and I and had been looking for us for over 20 years but, no one would tell him where we were. We were raised an hour from his house and didn’t even know it!
I met Dad on my 1st wedding anniversary, 2/12/06. That was also a very emotional meeting!
I’ve become a very big daddy’s girl in the past *almost* 4 years, to say the least. I talk to Dad and my step-mom sometimes 15x a day. 🙂

In a little under 4 hours Brother, SIL, Dad, and step-mom are coming to dinner. I haven’t seen them in 6 months and am super, super excited! 🙂
I hide any contact I have with Dad from my best friend, my mother. She knows that I’ve met him but, we don’t talk about it. The first time she found out, she didn’t talk to me for a week and that hurt. Big time! I hate hiding it from her, not only because she’s my mom but, also because she’s my best friend. I tell her everything! She doesn’t seem to understand that I’m grown. I deserve to know my dad and my child deserve to know their pawpaw R and Granny S.

Happy Thanksgiving!

November 27, 2009

I’m a day late, I know. 🙂

Yesterday was amazing! I love being around my family so much, even though my mother drives me crazy. lol. She’s so used to doing her “thing” that she likes to come in & take over. It’s cool though. I kept my cool & didn’t get too upset with her. 😉

LB woke up a little after midnight yesterday “morning”. I was up until after 10pm last night. Mom got here a little after 8am & we headed to Walmart to pick up a few things. It was nice to just get out & not have any kids with me. I deserve that sometimes.

We got home & my “oldest” sister was here. I put my first turkey in at 10:30am & it was finally done at 4pm. We had about 30 people over & that was just my sibs, parents, my kids, J, the inlaws, & our niece & nephews. It was awesome, until everyone left & didn’t clean up. I’m still washing dishes from last night. Blah!

I haven’t heard from the W’s in awhile. It’s okay though. I’m busy with the holidays & haven’t really had to think about anything. 😉

Hurry up and wait.

November 24, 2009

Hurry up.

That’s the story of my life at the moment. I haven’t talked to the W’s in about a week. I sent them an email earlier last week just to let them know that I was praying for them. They said we’d talk soon. How soon is soon?

I think I’ve became obsessed with this entire thing. It’s kinda frightening really. I went through LB’s clothes the other day & put the clothes that she couldn’t wear into a bag. I have plenty of friends around me that I could give them to but, I’m not. I’m saving them for the W’s, in case they have a daughter. DH says it’s scary, weird. I think it’s just me.

I’ve been researching more. I didn’t think it was possible but, I always learn something new. I also signed up on a surromom forum, The women there seem awesome and they’ve BTDT or are in the same boat I am. So they understand what “hurry up and wait” means to me. They know how hard this part of the process is and they understand how I feel. I need that.

N on my amazing mommy forum,, is amazing too! I’ve asked her a million questions and she isn’t tired of me yet. lol. All the women over at TMP are always so amazing, so supportive, so kind. I guess that’s why I’ve been posting there for almost 3 years now.

I need to find something to help me pass the time, to take my mind off of waiting. I need to take L’s advice & discover knitting. lol. I may do that this weekend. I need to find something before I drive myself mad.